As you may know, I have been actively looking for miracles in my life, big and small. The first night, after a long day of looking and finding nothing, I was watching the movie “Scrooge” with my family, when I found it, hidden inside a few key songs. Quick side note: I am a musical Continue Reading
I ask the same question repeatedly, because I can’t seem to remember whether I’ve asked it out loud or just in my head. Each time I do this, my family looks at me like I’m in the very early stages of dementia, and that voice inside me that’s usually only a whisper screams “you suck so bad!”
For the past four days, I’ve been cleaning at least one, sometimes two sets of sheets and blankets a day because my kids have decided they are so psychically connected, they must do all the same things, even pee the bed, in the middle of a deep sleep. Just for some background, my children are Continue Reading
Maybe you don’t know this, but I live out in the boonies of Oregon. Well, for me it’s really only a 20 minute drive to a big grocery store, but for anyone who wants to visit me from town, I might as well live half a state away…perspective is an interesting thing, yeah?
Anyway, we have such slow internet through our phone company, it’s almost as though we are stuck in the internet caveman era. So yesterday I decided, enough is enough, and signed up for a tv/internet combo package through a certain satellite company, whose name shall not be mentioned. They quoted me $160 a month for the package deal, with a two year commitment. I tentatively agreed,and they are to come install tomorrow.
Well, then I thought about back to two years ago, when I decided to cancel tv all together, and how they kept offering me a lower monthly price, as much as 70 percent less a month from what I had been paying, before they believed that I really just didn’t want tv, and left me alone.
Since the guy told me I could talk it over with my husband, and cancel with no penalties before installation, I called them back and told them that I had thought about it, and it was simply too much. I could not go with their service. The representative put me on “hold” to speak with his “manager”. This is how I imagine the conversation went.
Image Credit: https://flic.kr/p/reCk4n
STEPS
The concept of Steps for grace originated about eight years ago, in my more naive days of ‘just think positive thoughts, and the world will line up for you’. I honestly believed I KNEW what the keys to living a graceful life were. They were simple…and hey, guess what? I will write a 31 day tutorial and give it away to women, and then I will be the most awesome sauce of grace gurus.
Ya huh.
Since then, I have come to know that unless I can walk the walk, I have no room to talk the talk. So this is my solemn vow to you, my dearest cyber friends who I don’t yet know…I will never falsify, misrepresent, or claim to be what I am not. What I am, I will own, the good as well as the bad. Forever and ever, amen, yogi nanda, and so on and so forth, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Whew, that was intense. Not a dry eye in the house. I felt the love there, did you?
Yep…I’m that kind of weird. See, I am already following through on my vow…keepin’ it real.
Let’s return to back in the day. Back in my know it all years, I mad an acronym for the STEPS part of steps for grace, and it is as follows,
See
Touch
Embrace
Produce
Shine
The light
I thought that these STEPS would have a natural flow to them, that they would go in order from the first S to the last S. However, what I have come to realize in my super old wise years, is that the steps are not linear as I had originally foreseen them to be.
image credit: https://flic.kr/p/7o1Qh2
As I “put pen to paper”, so to speak, I am choked by a fear. It’s not the fear of failing at this whole blog thing, or that I won’t get any readers. This fear stems from the firm belief I’ve held that in order to blog about something, one must know what the heck they are writing about. In other words, one must not only have an opinion, but be willing to share said opinion for the whole world to see. This alone is cringe worthy, but the fear runs much deeper. Because after the whole world has read your opinion, they then form their own opinion of your opinion, and then you must be ready and willing to defend your opinion. Well, let me tell you right now. I don’t want to defend my opinion. Because the reality is, my opinion changes from year to year, day to day, and sometimes moment to moment.
For example, on a small scale, say you are twenty one years old, and twenty minutes ago, it was your opinion that the last shot of tequila was a fantastic idea…fast forward to praying over the porcelain god, who is now your best friend ‘john’, and it is likely your fervent opinion that the tequila was the devil in a shot glass.
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