The concept of Steps for grace originated about eight years ago, in my more naive days of ‘just think positive thoughts, and the world will line up for you’. I honestly believed I KNEW what the keys to living a graceful life were. They were simple…and hey, guess what? I will write a 31 day tutorial and give it away to women, and then I will be the most awesome sauce of grace gurus.
Ya huh.
Since then, I have come to know that unless I can walk the walk, I have no room to talk the talk. So this is my solemn vow to you, my dearest cyber friends who I don’t yet know…I will never falsify, misrepresent, or claim to be what I am not. What I am, I will own, the good as well as the bad. Forever and ever, amen, yogi nanda, and so on and so forth, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Whew, that was intense. Not a dry eye in the house. I felt the love there, did you?
Yep…I’m that kind of weird. See, I am already following through on my vow…keepin’ it real.
Let’s return to back in the day. Back in my know it all years, I mad an acronym for the STEPS part of steps for grace, and it is as follows,
See
Touch
Embrace
Produce
Shine
The light
I thought that these STEPS would have a natural flow to them, that they would go in order from the first S to the last S. However, what I have come to realize in my super old wise years, is that the steps are not linear as I had originally foreseen them to be. There are days when my three year old is running around like a crazy tornado, as my baby cries and my teenager needs help with an assignment. My home, as well as my insides are torn to shreds, and I cannot muster a patient word, let alone gentle eyes or a nice thought…hell, I’m lucky to have a coherent thought. But, even on these days, I usually know that this too shall pass. I can See the light at the end of the tunnel. Other days, I feel wonderful, my home is in order, my children are happy. My hair is not only combed but curled, my husband gives me the ‘come hither’ look, or even better, I give it to him, and I can feel that inner light radiating from the very core of my being. On these days, I feel like the embodiment of grace.
At first glance, it seems to me like the latter is the better of the two. But as I dig a little deeper, I wonder. If you were to weigh the scale of grace on those two occasions, would one be of more substance than the other? Does seeing the light under challenging circumstances count more or less than if you are shining it under easier circumstances?
Ultimately, my goal is to be able to shine that light under the most difficult of circumstances, to be the light always. I don’t know if it is possible. I don’t know if it is healthy to reach for the unreachable star. And yet…
I suppose the naivety lives on. I still believe in fairies, though I am pretty sure that positive thoughts alone do not create joy, or lasting change. Also, I have never met anyone who is only ever positive. If I did, I’d bet they were high on something other than life, though it would give me great pleasure to be proven wrong. If such a person does exist, hats off to you, my friend…and please, please, share your secret.
I am the student, not the master, and that is why I am here. I want to learn, to open myself up to a broader, yet far more substantial perspective of what it is to be human. What it is to be me, to my fullest potential, on any given day, whether all I can do is see the light, or help another to see theirs.
To live with intention in this unintentional world is no small goal, and I could sure use your help. Today I am curious, how have your fundamental beliefs shifted over the years, as you have gained new life experiences?